A Tale of Two Experiences: Old Town Bar & Hamburger America

Old Town Bar: Rating - 5.2/10

Old Town Bar sits along a rather unremarkable stretch of 18th street, north of Union Square. A certified dive bar with a history dating back to 1892, this venerated spot is primarily known for one thing, Buffalo wings. There is something too satisfying about eating Buffalo wings, from getting half the sauce on your fingers, to gnawing on the cartilage that encompasses the wing joint, to licking your fingers after consumption. A primal level of joy. I could never be a vegetarian. And so after about four or so years of seeing food list after food list declaring Old Town Bar’s Buffalo wings as some of the city’s best, I was ready to capitalize on the deliciousness.

As I entered the establishment, my expectations were high. The bar and dining room is a blast from the past. Except for the white-tiled floor, dark mahogany-stained wood winds it’s way up to the ceiling, which made me feel like I may be in Europe, not in the concrete jungle of New York. I awkwardly stood at the entrance, unsure if I should wait to be seated, but the feeling only grew as I felt like I may be standing there for time eternal. I quickly side-stepped over to the long wooden bar and took a seat, hoping nobody noticed me loitering. The lone bartender came over to take my order. Wings, and wings only.

Unfortunately, the ensuing wings provided the same textural sensation. It’s as if the wings were pulled directly from a freezer bag and tossed into the fryer. After forcing myself to eat five of the wings, I threw in the towel. Three wings remained on the plate as I got my check and ducked out. While my experience left much to be desired, I am hoping this was an anomaly. For those that know me, I usually enter a place wanting to like it. Having worked in restaurants there is a part of me that empathizes with the efforts of the staff, and I am naturally inclined to give the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do but call balls and strikes in this situation. If there is a glimmer of positive, I will say that my lips still tingled with sauce 10 minutes after leaving, and I could see a world where the sauce paired with moist and seasoned chicken would make me come back time and time again.

Location: 45 E 18th St, New York, NY 10003 | Website: https://oldtownbarnyc.com/

Hamburger America: Rating - 7.4/10

I didn’t intend to frequent two spots on this day, no less two spots that I would consider to be cheat meals, but there I was, post Buffalo wing disappointment, feeling like I needed redemption. My original intention was to review Old Town Bar OR Hamburger America, not both. But as I left the wooden doors of Old Town Bar, my feet kept moving south, farther and farther away from home and towards Hamburger America.

Hamburger America, is a new-ish spot from George Motz, a hamburger historian whose distinct sideburns remind me of Javier Milei. The place is crafted to look like a classic diner, with yellow walls, and where one might expect to find a coin operated jukebox. From what I’d heard, the go-to order aside from the classic smash burger was the Oklahoma burger, a smash burger containing copious amounts of thinly sliced onions cooked right into the patty. Innovation at it’s finest. So I stepped into the awning among the crowds to get my hands on redemption. I was lucky enough to snag a barstool at the counter, where I could observe the kitchen. Crate after crate of Martin’s potato buns lined the counters, and the flattop sizzled with burger grease (a potato bun is the best burger bun). I placed my order for a single Oklahoma burger and waited.

Feeling full and redeemed, I bundled back up for the long walk home. After all, two cheat meals in a day requires repentance.

Location: 155 W Houston St, New York, NY 10012 | Website: https://www.hamburgeramerica.com/